Little things and big things

So, it's about 6 months into my trip to Thailand, and I figured it was probably about time I gave you guys an update on life. First of all, let me apologize for the extraordinary lack of any sort of updates at all. It's not that there hasn't been anything worth while to tell, because believe me, I could talk about this place for hours. The problem has been more that I have gotten so caught up in life here and blogging is one of the last things on my mind (clearly). Also, if you want more excuses, I haven't had a computer for the past four months and our internet is incredibly spotty. But honestly I really have just been lazy about it, and I am sorry that I haven't been blogging. I'm going to try to start updating more frequently. However, I promised that same thing before I left the states and we know how that went. 

Anyway, I've been trying for a while to figure out what my first blog in 6 months should be about that best sum up my life in Thailand, and it has been a very difficult task. Words simply cannot grasp perfectly enough what my reality is. Nothing I could ever type out would do justice to how beautiful this place is, how wonderful these people are, and how much life is found here. I tried to just write a blog that was nothing but a long list of what my day-to-day life looks like, and I probably will do that soon, but in doing that, I could not express the joy that is found here, the redemption that is around every corner and the freedom that oozes from every crevasse. I could talk about what I do, but it's nothing compared to what is felt. Nothing compared to what is found in those little moments that you have throughout normal days, that suddenly make them extraordinary. Those little moments you have when you experience the kingdom of heaven. 

Those little moments...

When you see joy radiating off of the face of a 4-year-old who six months ago would never smile.

When you see a little girl get her first Christmas present ever and hold onto it with a death-grip for the whole day. 

When a group of 9-year-old boys come running full speed at you with their hands full of green paint and tackle you to the ground. 

When a 13-year-old girl who has never been given the opportunity to learn to read finally reads her first few words. 

When 130 people all bust out the same dance moves when they hear a song come on the radio. 

When you ride down backroads, through endless rice fields, with the sun setting behind them. 

When baking cookies turns into just smearing flour onto everyone's face. 

When you have an unbreakable bond with someone, despite the difficult language barriers.

When an child draws a picture and gives it to you. 

When everyone prays in different languages at the same time. 

When you climb up trees to pick fresh fruit. 

When you're riding in the back of a truck, with four children asleep on top of you after a long, fun day, and you think to yourself, "life doesn't get much better than this." 

It's the little things. It's the little things that happen here that I cannot get over. The little things that I love. It's the little things that keep me here. The little things that make life worth it all. The little things are the reason why I am staying longer. 

Originally, when I left in July, my plan was to leave in February. Shortly after I arrived at Remember Nhu, I realized that 7 months was too short of a time. I couldn't even imagine leaving so quickly. After a lot of prayer, and a few conversations with my field directors, I have now decided to stay until May. Though I'm going to miss a lot of people back home, staying in Thailand is an opportunity I can't allow to pass by. I love what I'm doing, I love spending time with the kids. I love the relationships that have been built here. Home will always be there. This opportunity may not. And all these little moments I experience are too great to live without. And that is why I am staying. 

So I don't have an exact return date quite yet, but I know it will be sometime in early May. I hate asking for money. I hate money in general, but unfortunately money has to be involved. In order to stay an extra 3 months, I'll need about $1,100 more. If you would like to support me, let me know in some way and I'll get you the info you need. 

Thank you for listening to my ramblings. I have so much more I could blog about, so I'll try to get some of them up eventually. 

Grace & Peace,
Emily

Made it to Thailand!!

Hey everyone!! So we made it to Thailand about 2 days ago! Everything went really well, and we're just trying to get over our jet lag right now and figure out what we're doing, and I'm getting over my travel sickness that I had yesterday. Thailand is awesome so far! Today was my first day to really get out and see a little bit of the city and visit the night market, which is now my new favorite place.
So that's really all I have for right now. Some more exciting stuff should be happening over the next few days as we get into a ministry. I'll try to blog again eventually

Grace & peace,
Emily

Giving Of Everything

"In the center of a once-great city there stood a magnificent cathedral that was cared for by a kindly old priest who spent his days praying in the vestry and caring for the poor. As a result of the priest's tireless work,the cathedral was known through the land as a true sanctuary. The priest welcomed all who came to his door and gave completely without prejudice or restraint. Each Stranger was, to the priest, a neighbor in need and thus the incoming of Christ. His hospitality was famous and his heart was known to be pure. No one could steal from this old man, for he considered no possession his own, and while thieves sometimes left that place with items pillaged from the sanctuary, the priest never grew concerned: he had given everything to God and knew that these people needed such items more than the church did.
Early one evening, in the middle of winter, while the priest was praying before the cross, there was a loud and ominous knock on the cathedral door. The priest quickly got to his feet and went to the entrance, as he knew it was a terrible night and reasoned that his visitor might be in need of shelter.
Upon opening the door he was surprised to find a terrifying demon towering over him with large dead eyes and rotting flesh
'Old man,' the demon hissed, 'I have traveled many miles to seek your shelter. Will you welcome me in?'
Without hesitation, the priest bid this hideous demon welcome and beckoned him into the church. The evil demon stooped down and stepped across the threshold, spitting venom onto the tiled floor as he went. In full view of the priest, the demon proceeded to tear down the various icons that adorned the walls and rip the fine linens that hung around the sanctuary, while screaming blasphemy and curses.
During this time the priest knelt silently on the floor and continued in his devotions until it was time for him to retire for the night.
'Old man,' cried the demon, 'where are you going now?'
'I am returning home to rest, for it has been a long day,' replied the kindly priest.
'May I come with you?' spat the demon. 'I too am tired and in need of a place to lay my head.'
'Why of course,' replied the priest. 'Come, and I will prepare a meal.'
On return to his house, the priest prepared some food while the evil demon mocked the priest and broke the various religious artifacts that adorned his humble dwelling. The demon then ate the meal that was provided and afterward turned his attention to the priest,
'Old man, you welcomed me first into your church and then into your house. I have one more request for you: will you now welcome me into your heart?'
'Why of course,' said the priest, 'what I have is yours and what I am is yours.'
This heartfelt response brought the demon to a standstill, for by giving everything the priest had retained the very thing that the demon sought to take. For the demon was unable to rob him of his kindness and hospitality, his love and his compassion. And so the great demon left in defeat, never to return.
What happened to that demon after this meeting with the elderly priest is anyone's guess. Some say that although he left that place empty-handed he received more than he could ever ask for.
And the priest? He simply ascended his stairs, got into bed and drifted off to sleep, all the time wondering what guise his Christ would take next."
- Salvation for a Demon, Peter Rollins

This is a parable has got me thinking for the past couple of weeks. As the date of my leaving is getting closer and closer, I have been contemplating the kind of person I want to be both when I am there, and who I want to be when I return. I have been thinking about what it would look like to give completely of ourselves. Give without any limitations whatsoever.

And we all have our limitations to how much we will give of ourselves. We give until we're uncomfortable, or inconvenienced, or tired. But what if we didn't have those limits? What if we really did give up everything we had, everything we are until we really had nothing left but out hearts to give? What if when Jesus said "go sell all of your possessions and go live with the poor" he meant "go sell all of your possessions and go live with the poor"? What if we didn't just let go of our possessions, but also  let go of our comfort zone, our safety, and our pride and instead just gave. What would the world look like? What if we looked at every person as a personification of Christ, needing something?

What if...? Just some thoughts.



On another note, as of last week, I found out that I have far more funds than was originally needed!! I am so humbled by everyone who has generously given and prayed over my finances. I could never thank any of you enough! Each one of you is such a blessing to have in my life. So again, thank you very much!

Grace & Peace

43 Days

43 days.

That's not very long.

43 days until I say goodbye to the states, the people I love, and my life as I know it.

In 43 days I'm jumping into the unknown. I begin the pursuit of a dream. A dream I have had since I was twelve. I can't even put into words how much this means to me, for so many reasons. That's exciting.

The past two years have been very lifeless.

 Most of our time has been spent trying to just make it through life without going crazy.

And I hate living this way. It's not a life I wish to pursue. It's not a life anyone was intended for.

It's exhausting.

 My heart is crying out for more. My heart is yearning to live for more. To be grown, to be stretched, to be broken, to be healed, to love, to be loved, to give, to be poured out, to be filled up, and to be used for a greater purpose.

To do something I am truly passionate about- it's been a long time. And I can't wait to see how it unfolds.

So now I just have to wait 43 more days.

 I can wait that long, right? I hope so.

Grace&Peace
Emily

P.S.

A HUGE thank you to everyone who had supported me thus far!! I have been so humbled by your generosity, and I don't know how even begin thanking you.

Please be praying for me over the next few weeks as I prepare for my travels, and that all the last-minute stuff will get taken care of. Also if you could please be praying that my funds will continue to come in, I would greatly appreciate it. I hate money.

remember nhu video

Hey guys! So here's a video from remember nhu that will show you a little bit more of what I will be doing and such. I promise that I will start blogging more soon. Once life gets less crazy and I make myself sit down and do it.

http://vimeo.com/19042728

Thanks to everyone who has supported me thus far! Words cannot explain how much it means to me!

Dear Friends and Family,

           As you may have heard, in August, I will be headed to Thailand to pursue my long-anticipated dream of working to abolish sex trafficking. Words simply cannot express how excited I am and how much this trip means to me. It has been my dream ever since I was eleven to go to Asia, and since I first heard about the atrocities of sex trafficking, I have had an unbearable ache in my heart to fight against this issue. After nearly seven years of dreaming, praying, and hoping that one day I would have the opportunity to live out these desires in my heart, I cannot believe they are finally happening!

            
       For the past year and a half, my life has been a whirlwind, to say the least. Since the loss of my mom, day-to-day living has been a struggle, every moment I feel her absence and miss her prayers and guidance, and trying to figure out what to do with the next phase of my life has been anything but easy. I have lost the person who encouraged me more than anyone else, especially in pursuit of my dreams. Without my mom’s encouragement, and missing the person I dreamed with the most, searching for something to pursue after I graduate was a painful process. I was broken; fear and doubt were beginning to hinder my pursuit of missions. I was lacking hope in ever finding something that embodied what I truly wanted to do in life. Living out my dreams of going to Asia was beginning to feel like an impossible dream that was perhaps too far -fetched for me.

In the midst of my doubts, a still, small voice would whisper, “Your life cannot be defined by death.”  I realized that even if death threatened to take everything away from me: my mom, my encouragement, my strength, my hope, and my joy - I could not let it take away my dreams. Death will not have that kind of hold on my life. I can still live the life that I always dreamed of living. At times I feel unworthy, and like I have little to offer because of my circumstances, I am broken but I am not broken beyond redemption. God can and will still use me. Asia is not impossible. In my heart I knew that Asia was where I needed to spend the year after graduation, and when I found Remember Nhu, there was not a doubt in my mind that it was where I needed to be. This is God’s gift to me - this is Him reminding me that there is beauty from ashes, there is hope after despair, there is joy after sorrow. It is Him reminding me that He will rebuild me and that I will again go out and dance with the joyful - death will not define my life, it will not have the last word.

Located in Chaing Mai, Thailand, Remember Nhu is an organization that is working to alleviate sex trafficking. Remember Nhu takes in girls who are at-risk of being forced into sex-slavery and gives them a home, an education, and provides a safe haven where their physical, mental and spiritual needs can be met. Their goal is to prevent the cycle of sex trafficking and to protect young girls. It is considered a preventative program, which means that their focus is on protecting young girls from entering into the trade. They aim to offer hope for a future where sex trafficking ceases to exist. In August, I will be heading to Chaing Mai, Thailand to live and work with Remember Nhu until February 2013.

I ask that you would please be praying for me, the missionaries that I will be working alongside, and the girls who live at Remember Nhu. Please pray for emotional, spiritual and physical protection over all of us. I believe that there is not only redemption and healing for me, but also for these girls; please pray we would see His Kingdom of restoration come to the city of Chiang Mai. Finally, I ask that you please pray that the financial needs for my trip will be met.

The total cost for my trip will be about $7,200. If you would like to support me, you can mail a check to:

Remember Nhu

PO Box 27000

Akron OH 44319

Please write Remember Nhu in the memo line, and attach a letter stating that the check is for my trip. Due to tax reasons that I don’t understand, please do not write my name in the check memo. 

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this letter! Words cannot express what a huge blessing you are in my life.

Grace & Peace,

Emily